Dear Sophia,

I've got a new work/job opportunity. I'm keen to take this on and very excited about the opportunity, but worried about how to tell my manager, repercussions for the team, feeling guilty about what's to come. How can I work through these feelings and create a constructive plan for the conversations/handing in my resignation.

Sincerely, 

Excited for a Change, Feeling Guilt for the Repercussions

Dear Excited for a Change, Feeling Guilt for the Repercussions,

Congratulations on the new opportunity!! What wonderful news! Let’s take a minute to stay with these positive feelings of accomplishment and excitement for what’s to come. You’re a rockstar and we want to revel in this for a bit. 

Now, unfortunately, with such news, in addition to the excitement, we tend to have anxiety, guilt, grief, and so many more feelings as well. Let’s think about what we can practically do to work through some of these.

First step: giving your resignation. This is a nerve-racking experience but, remember, dealing with situations like these is a part of your supervisor’s job description and you know your supervisor! You have likely had difficult conversations with them in the past and now you can use that awareness for yourself  in this situation. Now, I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your supervisor. If it’s a good one, as long as you are respectful and professional about the way in which you do this, you hopefully won’t have any issues. My recommendation would be to set up time to connect with your manager in person. Don’t break the news over email or informally in passing unless you absolutely have to. When you tell them, be sure to express your gratitude for the support they’ve provided and the years you’ve worked with them. Explain that you’ve taken another position, discuss when your planned last day will be, that you will do everything you can to support them during your remaining time at the organization, and wrap with asking what steps you need to take in terms of HR. Be ready for a negotiation and questions. For example, they may ask why you’re leaving, for flexibility on your end date, or see if there is anything they can do to get you to stay like increase your salary, etc. They may not ask you anything, but be prepared either way. After a conversation like this, you will need to give official written notice to your supervisor and HR so everything is in writing. If you’re unsure what to say in your official resignation letter, there are many templates online that can help with that piece. 

If you have a bad relationship with your supervisor, I would still follow the steps above, but if you are fearful of retaliation or other consequences, you can request HR to be in the room with you as well. Or perhaps you go directly to HR first, depending on how dire the situation really is and let them support you with giving official notice and working with your supervisor through this. Hopefully it doesn’t have to come to this but if it does, you have support.

Second step: processing your feelings. The fact that you are feeling guilty and thinking about potential repercussions for the team tells me that you’re a good person. These are important feelings to acknowledge and perhaps even express to your team if you feel the need to do so. However, it is also important to acknowledge that the team will no longer be your responsibility after your last day. Your supervisor will have to step in to support. While this may sound harsh, you have to remember that your company could fire you tomorrow and leave your team in the same situation. Your team did fine before you arrived and they will do fine after you leave. Focus on finding ways to support them while they transition to looking for your replacement. For example, create a handbook or guidelines for the work that you did (hopefully some form of standard operating procedures already exist!) so someone can step into your role and know where things are and how they were done. Walk an existing team member through where all of your files are kept and how to navigate the work that you did. Set things up for your team. After that, you don’t need to worry about this job because you’ll have a whole other job to learn and team to support. Yes, you may feel grief and loss, and continue to feel guilt, but as long as you know that you left your team with the tools they need, you did your best and you can hopefully move on in peace. 

Now go and celebrate the adventures to come!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Excited for a Change, Feeling Guilt for the Repercussions? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.