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In the Vault

Candid Answers to your most Candid questions

A Safe Place to Ask Candid Questions


Every professional - entry level, mid-career, and experienced - faces situations where they wish they had someone they trusted who would listen to their challenge and thoughtfully suggest solutions or offer a new way to consider the situation.   In the Vault is a safe, anonymous space for you to receive candid practical advice from Sophia Confidential for even the most sensitive of issues.  


WHO IS SOPHIA CONFIDENTIAL?

Sophia is an experienced professional who has worked in a variety of fields. Ask her anything. Sophia is not HR, your boss, your lawyer or your therapist. But, she IS the person who will tell it to you straight, even if it’s difficult to hear.

Sophia is on hiatus for now. Please check out the vast library of expert advice in the vault below! 


SOPHIA SAYS....

  • 23 Mar 2022 10:00 AM | Anonymous

    Dear Sophia,

    A senior position in my organization was recently, and suddenly, eliminated. The person in this role worked with my office closely and was our leader. We haven't received much information from senior leadership other than this was budget-related. Staff in my office, as well as other external stakeholders, are confused and worried by this decision and thrown off by this sudden change in leadership. As a manager, how do I support my staff and stakeholders and reassure them, even when I don't have much information?

    Sincerely, 

    Orphaned in the Office

    Dear Orphaned in the Office,

    If only good communication were the hallmark of every organization, right? Don’t worry, you may feel orphaned but you are not at all alone! How many of the world's problems could be righted if only there were just a few more details, just a little more clarity, just a bit more honest information being shared.

    The way I see it, there are basically two avenues to take on this, and I think you’re going to need to use both. The first is tackling the unsettling feeling of redundancies taking place right in front of you and your team and wondering who’s next. With little information, let alone reassurances coming from the top, it’s absolutely normal to feel a level of concern. Your team may feel some sadness at losing a leader, but I’m guessing the real culprit is the unknown possibility of wider-spread cutbacks. And that doesn’t make for a healthy and productive work environment nor does it play well with stakeholders. Now it would be great if I could give you a magical solution that you could implement on your own right now without having to involve anyone else or any sort of confrontation, but sadly that’s not in my bag of tricks. What I recommend is a graceful, articulate, and unemotional quest for information. If you have an HR department then this quest should be squarely directed at them. If you don’t, then it means asking the question to your supervisor, or the supervisor above them. As a manager, you have been charged with caring for, and getting the best out of, your team as well as serving your stakeholders. You have every right to gather helpful information that will serve to stabilize both these groups. Share with your supervisor or HR that your teams have been unsettled by this rather drastic news and that some assurances would not only be helpful, but are necessary. Even if your leadership can’t or won’t share details, they can certainly recognize that some further communication is needed. You may not want to be the one to alert them to this, but you are best suited to do so because you have direct concerns on your hands and those will eventually affect everyone right up to the top.

    The second avenue is really best traveled as you wait for the above to take place. This is one of being a cheerleader. In some ways, it’s a diversion tactic that buys time while hopefully more information is coming down the pike. But it’s also a very honest way to provide relief. It’s the reminder of mission and values: why we do this job and who we’re really benefiting. The ease at which we can get lost in the day-to-day minutiae of our jobs is staggering. When was the last time you actually thought about, or talked to a colleague about, the reason this work matters? If it doesn’t matter then perhaps it's time to look elsewhere but that’s a topic for another day. As a manager, you have a unique role to play in reminding your team of the value in what you do. While these sorts of organizational politics are easy to get wound up in, there is a bigger picture out there. Maybe it’s time for a group coffee break to get excited about the “whys” and forget about the “whats” for a few minutes. And hey, it will make you feel good, too!

    None of this is easy and I bet you’re thinking “why me?” a lot of the time. But the very fact you’ve brought this question up today, means you are a discerning and caring manager. Those are great qualities that make you perfect for traveling the road ahead.

    Confidentially Yours,

    Sophia

    P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

    Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

  • 09 Mar 2022 5:00 PM | Anonymous

    Dear Sophia,

    My boss is no longer in her position. She was serving an interim role as Director in my unit. A permanent Director role won't be hired for another several months at least. As the senior-most person in the office, I will now have to take on more responsibility, especially since the head of our department (who on paper will now be doing the Director-level tasks) is new and not knowledgeable about very much. I was offered a small one-time bonus as recognition of my increased workload, but I am still undercompensated for this level of work, and will not have any change in title. How do I advocate for myself and my compensation when the department head claims he can do all of these tasks but I know it will all fall on me?

    Sincerely,

    Actually the Director

    Dear Actually the Director,

    The combination of the reduction in force and great resignation over the last two years across so many industries means increasing workloads being laid on fewer employee’s shoulders. In some instances, the significant employee shifts have resulted in a new awareness that an employer has to act to stave off more employee departures. Often, employee transitions create opportunities for new leaders to step into leadership roles not previously accessible. If you don’t advocate for yourself, no one will! 

    While the small “loyalty” bonus you received clearly isn’t likely enough to retain you long-term, consider it as recognition they need you. Developing a strong relationship with the head of department early on is key. Don’t miss an opportunity to acknowledge the Interim Director’s departure will change workload both up and down the organization. Showing compassion toward others positively impacts our own and others psychological well being. Are there ways you can convey compassion with each of your colleagues, including the head of the department? Don’t wait, ask for a regular bi-weekly or monthly meeting, with the department head to be sure you have consistent face time during this transitional period. In the meantime, make the time to reflect, document, and (re)-establish realistic expectations with your constituencies regardless how much other work is piled on to position yourself to manage up and advocate for yourself. 

    First, take time to reflect. Ask yourself, is my work satisfying? If you’re burned out, unmotivated, uninspired, take time to identify the root cause(s). Are you overworked? Or after reflecting have you identified that there’s another type of work that excites you? Write notes down or record a conversation with yourself, a close friend, or a professional to help you to sort through your thoughts. You’ll benefit from focusing here before you move ahead with actions to improve your work conditions.

    Then after you’ve made time to consider your investment in your current role, make the time to complete a thorough audit of your job responsibilities. List in bullets what were you hired to do in one color and added responsibilities in another. Highlight essential responsibilities that are unlikely to change to differentiate those from lower priority responsibilities that could be paused, re-allocated to another team member, or transferred to or fulfilled in collaboration with another unit. By identifying the creep of scope of work and quantifying what you see as the most important responsibilities you are preparing yourself for any opportunity, planned or spontaneous, to engage in conversation and show leadership by communicating tangible information and solutions. Do not miss opportunities to seek clarity with the head of the department and develop clear documentation of what your role is, and the role other team members (up and down the chain of command) will play in this transitional period. While all work is teamwork, in the short term, it benefits everyone to have a clear understanding of their scope of work and minimize unnecessary work or overlaps. You’ll also have the information you need to communicate misalignment or re-allocation of responsibilities and compensation with the Sr. leadership and/or Human Resources.

    Finally, you won’t be able to maintain sanity through this transitional period if you don’t ensure your campus partners, students, and external stakeholders have a clear understanding of what they can expect from you and your team members. When workloads are higher response time will naturally be slower. Communicate with constituencies so they know they can expect the same high quality but staff constraints result in an additional few days to produce the work. If you look around any industry this is the reality everywhere. It may not be easy at first, but with consistency and a coordinated plan, your constituents begin to adjust by removing some pressure. A critical skill that isn’t often taught and like many skills strengthens over time with practice and good mentorship is managing up. Now more than ever you are in a position where influencing those more senior to you is paramount. Having done the work above, you’re establishing yourself as a leader who has the information and capacity to do just that.

    Confidentially Yours,

    Sophia

    P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

    Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

  • 16 Feb 2022 2:30 PM | Anonymous

    Dear Sophia,

    I recently entered the world of contract work. I have been offered two assignments and one had me sign a non-compete agreement. I want to be very careful of the work I'm doing and not break the non-compete, the work is different enough, but I'm also concerned it may be a bit too similar. How do I navigate this? I would like to do both assignments for the sake of building my skills in consulting and also for the financial aspect of things. This is all new to me and I would love some ideas as to how to handle this. 

    Sincerely, 

    Contractually Confused

    Dear Contractually Confused,

    Congratulations on being offered two assignments! But yes, please try not to get into legal trouble before you even get started in the world of contract work. Let’s break down your options.

    Since you feel strongly about completing both assignments, hopefully you can clarify the terms of the non-compete agreement and be confident that you will not be in violation.

    What does the agreement state? Does it limit the subject area, or list specific organizations or geographic areas in which you cannot work? Be sure to refer closely to the agreement, and consult with an employment lawyer if needed. It may turn out that it’s less limiting than you think.

    If the agreement is still unclear, or you’re not able to speak with a lawyer independently, you may want to consult with your employer or someone in the legal department to get more details about the limitations of the non-compete they had you sign. Without giving too many details about your other assignment, I think you can inquire. Make it clear that your ultimate goal is to complete the assignment and to be sure you aren’t creating any issues for the organization.

    Most importantly, be sure your motives are clear and trustworthy. You want to help both organizations succeed, causing no harm to either. If you get any sort of gut feeling that you may be crossing a line, listen to that and step back. I think deep down we often know the terms and conditions inherently but we don’t always trust or listen to that. So be honest with yourself and be willing to forego one or the other if it doesn’t feel good. 

    In the end, you may feel it is too risky to complete both assignments. If that’s the case, pick the one you like best and know that there will be many more opportunities to learn (and earn) with future assignments, and with no legal risk to you.

    Confidentially Yours,

    Sophia

    P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Asking for a Friend? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

    Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

  • 02 Feb 2022 12:30 PM | Anonymous

    Dear Sophia,

    It's 2022 and it feels like we are still facing one crisis after another. I have colleagues that are going through some difficult times but I don't know how to support them beyond just saying, "I'm so sorry to hear. I'm here if you need anything." What can I do to support someone in need?

    Sincerely, 

    Want to Lend a Helping Hand

    Dear Want to Lend a Helping Hand,

    It really is 2020 - too, huh?! Sorry, couldn’t resist saying that. Some levity is nice these days as we head into year three of whatever it is you want to call this. I can’t even count how many times I’ve talked about this ongoing pandemic and its impact on people. But thank you for asking this question, because it’s something I’m sure many of us are struggling with.

    A lot of people are experiencing difficult situations involving loss, poor emotional or physical health, or diminished security and, honestly, sometimes the most important thing someone needs to hear is, “I”m so sorry to hear. I’m here if you need anything.” It’s important to open up the line of communication with a person in need, to use active listening, and validate how someone is feeling. That unto itself is a huge and very underrated activity in a period of overwhelming uncertainty for all. Of course, you want to make sure you mean those words and are actually going to be there for them if they do reach out for support. Leave space for the person to reach out when they are ready to ask for what they need. Check in and be present with them, but don’t push yourself onto anyone that isn’t ready. When they are ready, offer the shoulder, the advice, the validation, the caretaking, whatever they are making clear to you they need most. Again, be sure you are able to give it. Be mindful of what you are comfortable and able to do. I know many people who give so much that they forget to take care of themselves in the process and you don’t want to find yourself in that situation either.

    I also want to acknowledge that a lot of us don't actually know how to ask, or feel comfortable asking, for help. So what do you do in those situations? Maybe you support by offering to do things that may be small (or big!) for you, but super helpful for others without necessarily overtly asking. For example, maybe you volunteer in place of that colleague to complete certain tasks or work on certain projects. Or help take on some of their existing work to give them a bit of respite while they deal with whatever they are facing. Another easy thing to do is to give your colleague the benefit of the doubt if they aren’t able to be present or produce like they may have in the past. This can apply to non-work related situations too. Maybe you drop off a meal, take a pet for a walk, offer to do some work around the house, or babysit your friend’s kids so they can get a small break. Consider what your friend/colleague enjoys (coffee, sweets, flowers, funny memes or videos). Make a plan to bring it to them knowing it will give you a good reason to check in on them and to show them you are thinking of them. I know I’ve appreciated even things like a text with folks checking in with me to say hello. So not necessarily asking me how I’m doing because that can be overwhelming to respond to, but a quick “Hey. Was thinking of you. Just wanted to say hi!” With a message like this there’s no expectation to respond but an underlying message that you care, which goes a long way. 

    The key here is to understand the person a bit and what they may need but also to know that the littlest of things tend to go the furthest when it comes to supporting those around us. Added bonus, these acts of care and kindness impact the giver as well as the receiver.  

    Confidentially Yours,

    Sophia

    P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Asking for a Friend? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

    Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

  • 19 Jan 2022 11:00 AM | Anonymous

    Dear Sophia,

    I work for a large public research university. I truly love my colleagues and the contact I have with students. However, when it comes down to it, faculty call the shots. And, frankly, since this is confidential, they don't know what they are doing. It is discouraging and disheartening to have people in power who no one can stand up to because they are tenured and have power and powerful titles. What do I do? I am planning on leaving the field because of this, but part of me doesn't want to. P.S. I don't want to get my PhD! I just want to be able to be seen as the expert that I am/respected to make decisions.

    Sincerely, 

    Peace out

    Dear Peace Out,

    Sigh, I don’t think it really matters what type of university you work for these days, a growing number of professional and administrative staff are openly sharing they have one foot out the door due to an array of struggles and organizational dysfunctions. Maybe your experience is just a case of not finding organizational fit. Maybe your experience is related to a toxic organizational culture stemming from faculty, even some who are well-meaning, who are protected by tenure and who expect their voice to be the most prominent in shared governance. Read the headlines in the Chronicle, Inside Higher Ed, and Diverse Issues in Higher Education among others, and you’ll see the Great Resignation is happening in higher education too. Staff are feeling beat down and fed up because their commitment, their expertise, and their contributions to the institution are not being valued. Administrative leaders are continually adding new responsibilities and workload and faculty can sometimes be quick to place blame or create barriers to long overdue organizational changes. There are entire social media groups for “expatriates” to support each other to leave higher education.

    Now hearing all of that can leave any one feeling discouraged and disheartened, so what can you do about it? First, it’s important to examine the feelings you are having and understand what is driving you away. Is it just the dynamic with faculty? With the administration? Is there more to it? While faculty tend to have a more elevated role, not all faculty are horrible and on power trips. In fact, I’ve worked with many faculty that are amazing and try to support both students and staff. Once you have a better understanding of what you’re looking for, you’ll be better positioned to switch departments or institutions or pursue an industry change. Be sure to do your research and ask about power dynamics and other concerns you have during the interview process so you can avoid jumping from one toxic environment to another as much as possible. There are plenty of other spaces in higher education that have a healthier balance and relationship between staff, faculty, and the administration; you just may have to look with this in mind.

    Ultimately, if you really don’t think higher ed is the space for you and you no longer feel seen as an expert, can’t see the positive impact of the work you’re doing, or able to find joy from focusing on the things you can control in your work, then leaving for another sector may be a path you want to pursue. I recommend talking to friends or family who work in industries you are considering. Attend free webinars or events led by organizations that interest you and begin to expand your network. You may even find you know people who worked with you in the past in higher education who are now working in the private sector. Many industries are feeling the pain and offering big referrals to employees who refer qualified employees to open positions. Update your LinkedIn profile and ask for recommendations from colleagues who can speak to your transferable skills. Finally, there are lots of great professional coaches out there who can guide you as you embark on a new path.  

    Remember, every organization and every field is going to have some sort of hierarchy and power dynamics. Leaving a field doesn’t necessarily mean you’re leaving that behind. Difficult relationships are going to be a reality so consider doing some research on how to work within difficult power dynamics through training, books, or coaching. 

    The turmoil of the pandemic has taken a heavy toll on everyone. Those who are changing jobs, becoming entrepreneurs, or leaving the workforce altogether have a desire to recalibrate and focus on where their values guide them. While a change in organizational type may be just what you need, it also doesn’t hurt to be prepared for the metaphor “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” to be a possible reality. 

    Sincerely,

    Sophia

    P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Asking for a Friend? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

    Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

  • 05 Jan 2022 3:30 PM | Anonymous

    Dear Sophia,

    I've worked in the study abroad field in both the US and abroad, and I find it harder to stay connected to the field while living and working abroad. How can I stay connected to the networking opportunities, trends in study abroad, and professional inspiration while based at an overseas provider?

    Sincerely, 

    Seeking Connection

    Dear Seeking Connection,

    At the risk of sounding like a marketing pitch, I’d start right where you are with the Global Leadership League! The whole purpose of the League is to provide professionals such as yourself with a platform and arena for community, knowledge, and dialogue. It is set up to be a vibrant space for you to learn from other colleagues in the field and even advance your career no matter where in the world you’re working. So while I am admittedly biased, I think this is the best place to start. Take advantage of opportunities like the Career Connections, Mentor Circles, League social and networking events, etc. I know so many people that have found these spaces a great way to stay connected and to meet new colleagues.

    From there I’d think about what aspects of international education you are most interested in and then explore organizations that are in those spaces. So for example, if you are looking for a space that provides standards of practice, The Forum on Education Abroad is great. If you’re looking for something that is perhaps more location specific, there are organizations such as International Education Association of Australia (IEAA) or the Japan Network for International Education (JAFSA). The Association of International Education Administrators has a great list that you can find here. A majority of these organizations have working groups that you could join, or volunteer opportunities with which you could engage remotely. One benefit of the pandemic is that remote engagement on boards and working groups is far more common and acceptable now. Use that to your advantage. Not only will participation help you stay connected with colleagues and up to date on current trends, but these are all great professional development opportunities. It’s a win-win really!

    Many of the organizations I mentioned above also have accompanying conferences, which are great opportunities to connect and grow. Yes, they can be expensive to attend but you can make a professional case to attend just the way you can to join organizations. Presenting at a conference is one of the easiest selling points for an employer. It’s harder to say no if you are going to be representing your organization and presenting on a topic that is moving the field forward. And a conference proposal is a great excuse/reason to reach out to colleagues around the world and to work with them on a much more intimate level. 

    How about tapping into your local city networks? We sometimes forget that a lot of places have local meet ups and organizations that are industry specific for colleagues in finance, law, etc. So for example in the San Francisco Bay Area there is the Bay Area Young Professionals in International Education (BAYPIE) which meets regularly for social events and workshops. Look around to see if there is something similar right in your backyard! And if there isn’t, maybe you start one! 

    Finally, I have to, of course, mention social media which has its issues but also a lot of pros. I would consider a focused engagement on LinkedIn or other platforms. On LinkedIn, make time to read through posts and connect with people in your field who you think are writing about interesting things. Post your own insights and repost other ones. Consider Slack as an alternative. There’s a great channel called “All Things International Education'' which is a great way to chat on a variety of subjects in the field and meet people you might not otherwise. Social media is ever expanding so I’m sure by the time this post goes up there will be ten other apps to connect with folks. Be open to it!

    In the end, it’s going to take a concentrated effort on your part to reach out and engage remotely. And while it may feel like you are whistling into the void at first, you will find that eventually your connections and engagements will snowball. No matter what route you take, never forget that you have valuable experience and a lot to offer to the field. Don’t be afraid to jump in and let people know that you want to connect.

    Confidentially Yours,

    Sophia

    P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Asking for a Friend? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

    Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

  • 15 Dec 2021 3:30 PM | Anonymous

    Dear Sophia,

    I have a new manager who has come in with a different management style. I am trying to be open-minded and adapt, but it's hard not to miss the way things were. What tips do you have to help me navigate the transition?

    Sincerely, 

    Retrospective Rose

    Dear Retrospective Rose,

    Things just keep changing don’t they? As much as we may want them to stay the same, they inevitably change. This can be exciting but also anxiety-provoking as newness typically brings uncertainty, and we humans don’t do well with not knowing what’s to come. Unfortunately, this is the pandemic-driven state the entire world has been in for almost two years. Adding to this change, what may have previously been a stable and predictable aspect of your life is undoubtedly going to be a transition. So, how do you get through this?

    First, acknowledge the loss: You lost your old manager and possibly a friend. You’re missing the way things used to be, so I’m assuming things were good. So let’s just take a minute to accept all of this and to give you space to grieve. You’ve experienced a loss and that is something you should allow yourself the time to process. I feel like we treat the workplace very differently from our personal lives, but the reality is you probably spend more time working than you do doing other things, so it’s important to acknowledge the change and its impact on you.

    Once you’ve done that (or as you’re doing it because it may take some time), I would treat this new manager and the change it brings for what it is – a new relationship and a new opportunity. It’s like when you start dating someone new: yes, we inevitably compare them to our ex, but we also know that we shouldn’t because the dynamics will be different. We need to learn how to navigate this new space together. So just like you would with anyone with whom you’re building a new relationship, get to know them. Try to understand where your new manager is coming from, what their work/management style is, what their goals are, and in turn, help them understand yours. What do you need in a manager? What do you need to be successful in a workplace? If you can take time to have this conversation with your new manager, then you’ll be better situated to go into this new working arrangement with a better understanding of how things will move forward.

    Now, this baseline conversation will hopefully help you better understand your manager’s style, which you’ve mentioned is different from yours. Maybe you’re used to being able to take lunch whenever and now you have to set a particular time. Or you’re used to working more independently but now your manager wants to be more involved. Whatever the difference may be, you may need to make some adjustments to the way you used to do things. Maybe some of these adjustments are a good thing and, though different, will help you and your team. Others may not be so great in your book, but it’s important to try to at least understand the “why” behind the situation. If you’re not sure of the “why," then ask. Don’t go in with a “this is not how we used to do things here” mentality, but more of a “hey, I would love to understand more about this.” Hopefully your manager will be able to provide this insight.

    It’ll definitely take some time to adjust and there may be some awkward moments or misunderstandings along the way– that’s normal in any new relationship. As long as you’re willing to be open and honest about how you feel and address the situations and differences as they arise, that will hopefully ease the transition. Also remember, this person is also going through a transition and probably more so if they are new to the organization. So take your level of discomfort and amplify that to try and understand theirs as well. That’s something you share and can work on together. You’ll need to give each other the benefit of the doubt and hopefully over time learn how to work together in a way that best serves you both.

    Confidentially Yours,

    Sophia

    P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Asking for a Friend? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

    Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

  • 01 Dec 2021 8:00 AM | Anonymous

    Dear Sophia,

    I have been criticized for overstepping my role but the organization is a huge matrix and lines are often blurred. I want to talk to my co-workers about building trust and clarifying roles but am not sure how to approach the conversation. Can you help?  

    Sincerely, 

    Stepping up without Falling Over

    Dear Stepping up without Falling Over,

    It seems so obvious, yet why do organizations fail to realize that a lack of clear roles and reporting lines is a recipe for disaster?! When lines are blurred it is a constant challenge to stay on course, do your job according to manager’s expectations, and develop trust with colleagues. Ideally, your organization would have defined clearer roles for everyone. Unfortunately, not all organizations have their act together! I suggest tackling the lack of clarity head on. 

    First, have conversations with stakeholders. Work with your supervisor(s)and colleagues to outline the concerns you all have based on your experiences. Whenever possible involve human resources and consider how your efforts will be presented to leadership. Come up with a list of concerns and possible solutions before approaching management as it may help get them on board! While you should mention your concerns, stay focused on the positive effects that clarifying roles would have, rather than the negative of the current situation. Ask your peers if they’ll join you in drafting this list—there is strength in numbers and having multiple perspectives will demonstrate the scope of the issue.

    Next, work with your team and/or management to edit existing or develop new job descriptions. What was listed in the job posting before employees were hired may be a starting point, but often job descriptions were never created, or the reality has deviated a lot from the original plan. You should establish a detailed job description for each staff member that reflects what they actually do, or what the company wants them to do. This will be useful to refer to down the road if anyone veers off course. Be sure to include breakdowns of teams and how each member fits into the team. For example, you could include a description of what all team members do, then list what the team lead and secondary members each do. Job descriptions can also be used to simplify performance reviews (your manager may appreciate this!). They could also help to demonstrate the need to hire more staff once you realize what exactly everyone does and where there are gaps, or where it would make sense to divide roles differently.

    A tool that many project managers use and may be helpful in this situation is a RACI chart, which for all intents and purposes is a roles and responsibilities matrix. While it typically revolves around projects, you can expand it to represent general responsibilities. RACI stands for:

    • Responsible

    • Accountable

    • Consulted

    • Informed

    For every task, project, etc. in an office, someone takes on one of these roles. So for example if your organization sends a newsletter, perhaps you are responsible for creating it, your supervisor is accountable for it getting done (i.e. they don’t have to create it but if it doesn’t happen, they would get some heat), and perhaps other staff members should be consulted around content and then another group just needs to be informed that a newsletter exists and is moving forward. This is an overly simplified version but one that hopefully gets the point across and may be helpful in getting a better understanding of your team’s roles and responsibilities. This could be a great visual tool to recommend and perhaps an exercise to do together as a team.

    If you can show your colleagues that you’re trying to improve things, with any luck they will appreciate your effort instead of accusing you of overstepping. 

    Confidentially Yours,

    Sophia

    P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Asking for a Friend? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

    Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

  • 17 Nov 2021 6:00 PM | Anonymous

    Dear Sophia,

    I have enjoyed working from home since Covid 19’s various lockdowns and the expectations of me to travel for work were one of the few benefits of the pandemic. Now that travel is resuming for holidays, I'm worried that the day is coming that travel will resume for business and for work again. I have a young family and quite enjoy being at home and not having to travel to the office or travel overseas for work. Should I start thinking of how to manage these expectations to once again travel so that I am ready when this might happen again?

    Sincerely, 

    Happy at Home Working Mother

    Dear Happy at Home Working Mother, 

    There seem to be two camps when it comes to traveling these days: Those that can’t wait to get back out there and get away from the places they’ve been stuck in for the past year and a half, and those that are quite content with the lack of travel and would like things to continue as they are. In your case, you have an extra layer of a young family which typically requires a bit more time, attention, and support. It’s completely understandable that you would want to limit your travel in the future. So how do we set expectations here?

    I would first assess how much travel you are willing and/or able to do and second, the amount of travel your role has typically required. This second piece may be a bit more difficult to answer as we are living in a very different world now, but start with what it used to look like. Once you have that, think about how much travel you think is really necessary now? Pre-pandemic, many business trips were required as they were key to building relationships. In this post-pandemic world, however, this isn’t necessarily the case. While an in-person meeting, in my mind, will always trump a virtual one, that doesn’t mean that EVERY meeting needs to be in-person. Every organization is reimagining what business travel looks like. The ability and what’s become almost second nature of connecting virtually for many fields is making it so organizations can save not only money but also time. It’s much easier and efficient to jump on an hour-long Zoom call, than to fly for 5 hours, rent a car, spend a night at a hotel, expense meals, risk exposure to COVID, etc. for an hour-long in-person meeting. I would say you could make quite the business, financial, and health case for not traveling in certain situations.

    After you have done some basic analysis, try to gauge the direction that your organization is going in. Do you think the expectation is that travel will ramp back up again? Talk to your supervisor about what they think. If the organization is really going to limit travel then that’s a good sign and will hopefully work for you. If they aren’t, however, or if they haven’t decided, it’s going to be really important to start having discussions about what you would like sooner rather than later. Explain your situation and how you would like to reduce the amount of travel. Are there practical ways to reduce travel because of the remote space we naturally find ourselves in? Perhaps another colleague is willing or even eager to take on some of that in your place. Is there a way to adjust your official role to have less travel? Perhaps now is the time to consider other roles within the organization or outside the organization if it isn’t meeting your needs. The key is having a clear understanding of what you’re willing to do, what your role entails, and to communicate with your supervisor around this. Ideally, you will be able to make a case for an adjustment and if not, then you’ll have to decide what your priorities are and potentially adjust your expectations to jumping back onto a plane.

    Confidentially Yours,

    Sophia

    P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Asking for a Friend? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

    Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

  • 03 Nov 2021 4:00 PM | Anonymous

    Dear Sophia,

    I know someone who is facing a problem with the return to in-person work. While everyone was remote, the teamwork on his team was amazing and the team functioned very well. Now that there is in-person work, however, he notices that unhelpful and destructive chatter has returned. It's like everyone was mission-focused while remote, but now that they are seeing each other again, the focus is sometimes on the team members/on interpersonal issues instead. Those chattering don't think they are gossiping and they don't think they are behaving in toxic ways. They think they are discussing work matters with people they trust and would reject the notion that they are engaging in toxic behaviors -- but they are. He knows he can't change others, and that lecturing his colleagues won't be productive. What can he do to improve this situation for himself and for the whole team? 

    Sincerely, 

    Don’t Want to Work with Toxicity

    Dear Don’t Want to Work with Toxicity,

    I’m glad you’re writing on behalf of “someone you know” but I hope you don’t mind me talking to you directly on the off chance that someone happens to be you (wink wink). No matter who is asking this question, it’s relevant to any of us who have ever had the delight of working in an office setting with other people. Let’s start with the basics. Offices are made up of human beings. Human beings are naturally social creatures. We connect and interact on multiple levels in numerous ways throughout our lives, both personally and professionally. So, it’s no wonder that sometimes the lines get blurred in personal and professional boundaries. But the pandemic  laid down a clear demarcation between the two. When we entered a Zoom room at work for a meeting, it was clearly business. If you called a colleague to catch up on their latest family vacation, that was personal. Working from our little bubbles, we kept everything in the separate lanes because there were no accidental interactions.

    But as you rightly point out, going back to work in person means we are jumping back into the lawless frontier of office politics. Now keep in mind, what you might be seeing at this moment is an almost frantic overload of human connection where everyone is so hungry for socializing that the balance is heavily skewed towards chatter. That will settle out eventually as we all get back into the routine of normal work behavior so perhaps a bit of patience is called for here.

    That said, there is a difference between engagement with colleagues and toxic gossip-mongering. I’d like to think that as professionals we all know the difference, but that would be naïve and clearly you are witnessing this firsthand. So, here’s what I’d suggest: Jump into the fray. Trust me, I know this is not the answer you wanted, but the reality is, if you want to change the environment in your workplace to one that does not promote this kind of disruptive and damaging behavior, you’re going to have to get your hands dirty.

    You’re correct that lecturing colleagues will not be effective. So instead of lecturing, join in the conversation, engage in the circles, and elevate the dialogue. When topics veer into gossip, gently suggest, in a good-natured, light-hearted way, that perhaps we don’t want to go down that road because “hey, Charlie’s a good guy deep down and it might be that he’s just really overloaded right now…” You can also jump in with suggestions for improvements like “yes, it does sometimes feel like Monique creates a real bottleneck in projects, but I don’t think she means to—I wonder if there’s a productive way we could work with her on that?” You see what’s happening here? You are being called upon to be the bigger person—to guide others away from the toxic cliff to more stable and productive ground.

    If that feels like too onerous a task, then I would suggest you take the complete opposite approach and find a way to reframe the environment for yourself. Eckhart Tolle talks about situations being completely neutral, neither good nor bad. He says it is only your own thoughts about it that make it positive or negative. Perhaps this is an opportunity to hone those skills and simply remove yourself from letting it get to you, creating an environment where you simply expect the best from your colleagues, clearly communicate what you need from them, and if you don’t get it (because they are too busy gossiping) you can suggest to your supervisor or your team that a renewed focus on efficiency and productivity would be helpful.

    Either way this is going to involve a choice on your part. You can’t fix other people, but you can model the behavior you’d like to see and/or you can move yourself into a Zen space where you’re not distracted or irritated by the world around you. No matter which you choose, these are life skills that need practicing but will serve you well forever.

    Confidentially Yours,

     Sophia

    P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Asking for a Friend? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

    Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

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