Dear Sophia,

I work in a role that requires me to engage with a lot of external partners. I was recently visiting a partner and, while grabbing after work drinks, he began to make very inappropriate comments about my appearance. I laughed it off and attempted to change the subject. That worked for a bit but he kept coming back to the way I looked and other very lewd comments. I finally made up an excuse and called it a night but I don't know what to do now. He's an important partner but I don't want to be in a situation where I'm ever alone with him again. I'm also fairly new to this role and don't want my manager thinking I can't do my job. What should I do?

Sincerely, 

Laughing it Off Isn't Working

Dear Laughing it Off Isn't Working,

Let me begin by saying I am so sorry that you had to experience this. This sort of behavior is, unfortunately, much more common than most people in fields like higher/international education would like to admit. The number of times I have spoken to colleagues who have been in the EXACT same situation as you is appalling. And then for you to be the one worrying about your job and your competency…ridiculous! I am so sorry!

Now, there are a couple of layers here. Let’s start with how you’re feeling. Many times in situations like these, the victim feels inadequate or guilty, like it was their fault, like they led the perpetrator on. Why did you laugh it off? Why didn’t you just walk away or tell him it was inappropriate right then and there? Why did you agree to drinks in the first place? There are a million “what if” or “why” questions we play through our minds over and over again. If this is you, I am going to tell you to STOP right now. NONE OF THIS is on you. You did what you needed to in that situation with not only your safety in mind, but with the extra pressure of potentially losing an important partner in the beginning of a new role. Let me repeat that. You did what you needed to. If you are having these thoughts, I hope you have taken the time to speak to friends or family, perhaps a therapist, someone that can help you process the feelings that you are having - this is going to be an important step in moving forward. If you’re not having these thoughts, and are doing fine, then great.

The second step is going to be to think through what you want to do. You mentioned not wanting to be alone with this man again. Does that mean you’re okay continuing to work with him as long as that condition is met? Or do you want to be taken off of this account? This is where your personal comfort and your career ambitions may come head to head. Perhaps being on this account is really important for your career or maybe it isn’t and you can find another account with a much more professional partner. In these kinds of situations, many of us will, unfortunately, put aside our personal discomforts for the job. While I wouldn’t recommend that per say, I also don’t know what the situation is for you at this job so this will be a decision you will need to make or at least consider before speaking to a supervisor. There is no wrong decision here as long as you are doing what’s best for you. One thing I will say is no job is worth your personal safety. 

Once you’ve thought through what you would ideally like to do, it will be important to speak to your supervisor. Any half decent supervisor is going to be more than understanding of this situation and ask how they can support you. This is where you can lay out what you would like to see happen or ask your supervisor for guidance around what the options are and what the potential impacts are to you. Your supervisor should be able to give you insights to make a more informed decision and provide you with the necessary resources. 

Unfortunately, we also live in a world in which the company’s bottom line is sometimes worth more than an individual and their safety. In this case, you may have to make a tough decision about where the line is for you and whether you want to go to HR or even continue to work for an organization whose values and priorities don’t align with yours. I hope it won’t come to this, but if it does, then like you did in the situation initially, do what you need to in order to take care of yourself. Be loyal to yourself!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Laughing it Off Isn't Working? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. 

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I work on a team that has two team leads. One lead is a bit of a bulldozer and the other avoids confrontation and both are rarely on the same page so the team is constantly getting conflicting messages. I've had to go past both of them to senior leadership a couple of times to resolve issues but the situation isn't getting better. I don't know what to do. Help!

Sincerely,

Tired of Infighting

Dear Tired of Infighting,

This is a perfect opportunity for you to practice the art of negotiation. And it really is an art. But don’t be afraid, you can and should do it. I’ve been in these situations where I desperately wanted change and thought, “why can’t someone else take this on?” Trust me, it’s a fruitless question. You can see what’s going on pretty clearly and you’ve taken steps in the past to right the situation by going over their heads to no avail, so it’s time to step into the ring and see if you can work with these individuals to make a change.  

My guess is that both of these team leads think they’re doing a good job (or maybe just an ok job) at leading this group. They don’t know that they possess skills in bulldozing and confrontation avoidance, and if they do know, they don’t think anyone notices. Here’s where just a little bit of communication can go a long way. I suggest asking for a meeting with them together. You then tell them that you are concerned with what you see within the team as a confusion over messaging (if you can cite specific examples here, that’s even better). You ask them if they think that perhaps this could be a result of them having such different styles. You go on to say that you really appreciate that Bulldozer is really good at [insert example] and that Confrontation Avoider is really good at [insert example] but that a unified voice would be really helpful to this particular team. And then you ask for their advice. What would they recommend to help this situation? Would they be willing to work with you to come up with some solutions?  

It's possible this won’t work, they won’t get it and you’ll be right back where you started. If that happens then it’s time to take it to senior leadership again, or HR, and tell them that there needs to be one team lead with one consistent voice because it simply is not working. And if others on your team feel this way, have them join you in this complaint. The nice thing is, at that point, you can share that you tried to resolve this directly with the two team leads and it was not effective. You’ve done all you can.

The hardest part of these sorts of situations is that they often require an actual conversation with the people involved. That takes energy and preparation that is sometimes hard to muster. But it truly is the best way forward and believe it or not, it can work really well. I’m sending you courage and clarity in hopes it works for you too!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia  

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Tired of Infighting? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. 

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

During the pandemic our team was cut in half and I have been basically been doing two people's jobs. Recently one of my teammates gave her notice and my boss said that she expected me and another colleague to take on some of this additional work. When asked whether she would be helping, she said no. She hasn't taken on any extra work since our changes in staffing and is now expecting me to take on even more without any kind of compensation. I've hit my wit’s end. Is there anything that I can do aside from just quitting?

Sincerely, 

Ready to Quit

Dear Ready to Quit,

The negative effects of the pandemic on the workplace have not yet subsided, especially for you! It’s clear you’ve taken on too much in the last several years, and without much support from your office, so you’re asking the right question. Let’s break down your options, other than quitting:

1. Ask about plans to hire. Ask leadership what, if any, plans there are to increase staffing. If they can provide a specific timeline and plan that seems reasonable to you, perhaps you’ll feel you can stick around.

2. If there are no plans to hire, make the case to leadership. Speak up to management and be honest that you simply cannot take on anymore. Some leaders may respond well if they knew their employees’ mental health and well-being was suffering, so include this in your case if you feel your manager would be empathetic. Unfortunately, however, some leaders do not care to know about any negative emotional or mental state of their employees. It seems your unhelpful manager may be in this camp. If that’s the case, I’d recommend being objective and making it clear that the understaffing is negatively impacting stakeholders or business. If your boss responds favorably to your plea, you can decide if you still want to stay and if you have the patience to make it through the hiring process.

3. If your boss says they cannot or will not hire more staff, ask for a raise. Make a clear-cut business case in writing for all you’ve taken on over the last 2-3 years and the value you bring to the organization. Decide on a number that seems fair to you and request that new salary explicitly. Avoid mentioning anything personal or emotional—just stick to the facts about the work you’ve done.

If leadership will not hire more staff, disclose an appropriate timeline for hiring, or give you a raise, then your best option is to leave. An organization that truly values you would provide support, either through better staffing or increased compensation for you. If you do not feel valued, it can be very challenging and demoralizing to keep holding on!

If you decide to quit, decide on your timeline and don’t look back. Having another job lined up before you leave may be ideal, but your wellbeing is another important consideration and only you can decide when enough is enough. And keep in mind, your leaving may set a precedent in which leaders will realize that they cannot keep pulling this nonsense! Research indicates it is actually more costly to an organization to lose staff. They should learn to do what it takes to retain quality staff members to save money in the long run, and hopefully create a better environment for everyone involved.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Ready to Quit? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page.

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

What are best practices for managing a large volume of email? I have a colleague who doesn't answer messages or makes problems when she does, so others at my employer have taken to writing to me instead of her. They are well intentioned: they want to get work done, but they put me in a difficult position. The person they don't want to write to is my boss, and I wind up getting so many messages and requests that I am completely overwhelmed and stressed.

Sincerely, 

Slogging Through

Dear Slogging Through,

Ugh…emails…I, and everyone else in this digital world, feel you. And it’s not just the number of emails but the sense of urgency behind every email that makes it impossible to escape. Plus all the meetings on meetings that lead to more emails but less time to answer said emails…. Ok, I digress! Let’s get back to you!

While emails are a problem unto themselves, in this situation, I don’t think they are THE problem. The problem here appears to be your colleague not doing their job, your other colleagues assuming that you will, you in fact making that assumption true, and your supervisor being seemingly unaware that all of this is happening. So while I can give practical advice on supporting a massive inbox (such as setting aside set times on your calendar to devote to just email, finding ways to prioritize your daily tasks along with sifting through emails to know which ones need to be responded to first, etc.) let’s focus on what I believe are the actual issues.

First and foremost, if you have a colleague that isn’t doing their job and that is impacting you and your work, your supervisor needs to know. I know the idea of “ratting” out your colleagues doesn’t feel the best but this is clearly getting to a point that is unreasonable and action needs to be taken. Hopefully your supervisor will be able to support you by talking to this individual and re-shifting the work back to this individual.

Now, being the eldest sibling has also taught me that sometimes mom just tells you to do it because that’s the path of least resistance versus getting the younger siblings to do it and probably do it wrong. This is not acceptable with siblings or in the workplace. If that is the response you get from your supervisor then that is something you’ll need to work through. Maybe it is ok that you’re supporting all of these emails from your colleagues, but then it should also be ok that other responsibilities are shifted to someone else (i.e. the original offender). Or if you are expected to take on someone else’s job then you should be given a raise, a title change, etc. to compensate for the additional work that you are doing that is likely not in your job description. And, of course, in the worst case scenario there is always HR as a last resort. 

Beyond telling your supervisor, and depending on how your supervisor responds, I would also tell your colleagues directly that this isn’t your role and that if they have concerns  that the colleague in question isn’t able to support them with, they should go to that individual's supervisor directly. If they’re good colleagues, they’ll understand that you are establishing a healthy boundary and are trying to do what’s best for you as well as everyone else in the long run. Your burning out isn’t going to be beneficial to anyone. If this also doesn’t work, then, moving forward, as you get these emails, start to loop in the colleague in question and your supervisor and say something like, “Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, this doesn’t fall in my wheelhouse but I’m sure X will be able to support as this is their expertise.” This will put the pressure back on your colleague and let your supervisor know as well. Keep doing this until something changes! I know you feel bad and want things to move forward but it can’t be at the expense of your well being. 

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Feeling the Years? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I'm in a new position requiring a lot of project management in many directions.  I am getting swamped with sticky notes and papers accumulating and advanced planning and 'this is a great idea that I said yes to or suggested but now how do I make sure it doesn't fall through the cracks?'  I am embarrassed that I'm in my 50s (gulp!) and still struggle with these personal issues of organization.

Sincerely, 

Definitely Feeling Like an Imposter

Dear Definitely Feeling Like an Imposter,

I am thrilled you’ve asked this question, because organization is my jam and I love to help others get on top of it. But first things first: you’re not an imposter. Like so many people the world over, you’re juggling a lot of things all at once and you’re trying to keep a “can-do” attitude because that’s what is expected of you. That makes you human, but the fact that you can admit you need help makes you superhuman! So, pat yourself on the back and let’s jump in.

I don’t care whether you’re twenty-two or sixty-five, writing things down is an age-old art that is always a good answer to any organization challenge. List-making is the most simple and effective foundation for getting organized and it’s going to be your best friend. There’s a reason that every project management tool out there has some sort of list-making function. Whether you do it on a piece of birch-bark or on your phone, start with a list. This serves two important purposes:

1. It forces you to slow down and organize your thoughts. It may sound like a stretch, but make the time to do this by grabbing a coffee and stepping away. You want to allow yourself the time to have things come to you that you may have forgotten or overlooked. Force yourself to sit down, undisturbed, and start your list. This may mean you need to gather up all those Post-it notes and scraps of paper and random digital notes and transfer them into this one list. Do it!
2. It gets everything in one place. I’ll say that again: It gets everything in one place. The problem with scraps of paper and sticky notes on your desktop is that they scatter your list and when the list gets scattered, things get dropped. What if that Post-it note task didn’t make it onto the agenda in your email because it was sitting under your lunch—oh no! Keep ONE master list and build it out from there.

The list-making tool you use you depends on your personality. Perhaps everything you do is digital and you’re glued to your screen 24/7. If that’s the case, make your list either in something as simple as an Excel spreadsheet or something more layered like a project management tool or digital notebook. If you tend to like an actual paper notebook that can sit on your desk and travel with you, then find a good solid hardcover notebook that will become your best friend—maybe it’s just blank pages or maybe it’s a calendar too. You do you! And don’t judge yourself. There’s not one right tool to stay organized. If you try to force yourself into a system that doesn’t work for you, you won’t use it and then you’ll feel guilty for one more thing you didn’t get done today.  

Once you’ve made a list of everything that needs doing for a certain project (perhaps you’ve broken it into categories, added deadlines, and noted others who have a hand in this), then make sure you keep that list active and available at all times. This is key because every time someone mentions something else that needs doing, or you suddenly remember an item you left off the list, or a deadline changes, you need to adjust that list. If you don’t have it readily accessible, you’ll revert to a Post-it which may not make it out of the bottom of your bag.

And here’s the most important advice I can give you: Review that list often, and AT LEAST once per day. I used to sit down with my coffee and go over my list each morning before I did anything else. And, when I was really on my game, I’d review it again before I went home each day so that I could cross things off. If you’re not reviewing the list, adding to it, taking away from it, and generally letting it serve as the guard-rails for your day, it’s not serving its purpose.

There are lots of tools and resources out there, but this is the best starting place I know, and it has never let me down. I hope it works for you too. And remember, slowing down and taking the time to declutter your desk, stopping to look out the window, or doing a short loop around the block all help to clear out the cobwebs in your head. And that makes room for all those great new ideas to be added to your list!

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Feeling the Years? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I work with a younger colleague who is at the same level as I am and around 18 years my junior. I've worked at multiple colleges over the years, with over a decade in international education. This colleague has only worked at this institution (going on 5 years) which is also where they attended undergrad. I began around 3 years ago. This person is very well known on campus and seen as the 'go-to' person for international queries. This person consistently puts down my ideas/suggestions, and makes me feel like my contributions are worthless. They do not want to let go of any work tasks, leaving me with very little to do and feeling belittled along the way. The boss of the group sees the challenges, and has tried to mitigate (including having conversations with the colleague) to no avail. This person continues to do work that is technically mine, oversteps their boundaries, and creates a very challenging work environment. They have also, on occasion, dismissed suggestions I have had for improving and streamlining processes, only to take the idea and present it as their own later on. Being a very non-confrontational person, I've just kept my head down and tried to do my job but do not feel like I can continue like this much longer with such an aggressive and demeaning atmosphere. 

Sincerely, 

Feeling the Years

Dear Feeling the Years,

I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this. Why can’t everyone learn to be a professional?! It seems your colleague could use some advice of their own! You’ve reached the end of your rope, so let’s make a plan to move forward.

While your colleague’s behavior is completely unacceptable, it may help you to first consider some possible reasons for it. Perhaps your colleague believes they are “taking charge” and doing more work and that will help them get ahead in their career. They have clearly missed that their behavior is rude, aggressive, and downright shady, but something in their past could have led them to believe it is necessary to succeed. Perhaps they also believe that you possess less knowledge or expertise since you’ve been in the role for less time (overlooking your years at other institutions). This person could also have deep-rooted control issues or fear of failure which makes it hard for them to let you do your job when they perceive that their way is the only way it should be done. If you consider these underlying issues, it may help you break through if you ask the right questions, or at least accept that their actions are not personal to you.

If you’re up for it, one way to shut down this aggression would be to muster the courage to speak to your colleague. Try attempting a diplomatic approach so it feels less confrontational. Each time they do your work, for example, you can calmly ask, “May I ask why you are doing my work? This is my task and I know you have many other things to do in your role. I have this covered.” Take some time to document each instance and feel free to bring up that it has happened before. While you may want to push back in anger and frustration, phrasing it as a question may force them to consider their actions before responding to you, and you may learn something. Also document your communications so you know when you presented an idea. If your colleague tries to steal an idea, be sure to tell your boss and other colleagues that it was actually your idea and that you first came up with it on X date. Once they see that you will stand up for yourself, they may let up on their behavior. You may get others on your side, as well.

If the diplomatic approach doesn’t work, you have a few options: 

1. Push back harder. If it’s your last attempt, you may find it liberating to speak up. If it doesn’t help, you probably don’t have much to lose.

2. Lodge a formal complaint with management to see if they could facilitate a change or even fire your colleague (it’s rare, but it DOES happen—if management has seen problematic patterns and turnover is high as a result, they may decide it’s time to let this person go)

3. Look for another job and get out! If you do decide to quit, be direct about the reasons if you have an exit interview. Again, if management sees troubling patterns, they may take action with your colleague.

Some considerations: How much do you like your job and other colleagues? Do you see a future in this office and hope to stay? How easy is it to find a similar job in your area? If you have other job options, are not too attached, or if you’ve simply had enough and don’t want confrontation, don’t feel bad about giving up. This bad behavior is not your fault, and it shouldn’t be your responsibility to fix it. Life’s too short to surround yourself with toxic people, especially at work! 

Good luck with whatever you decide! Here’s hoping this person will knock it off. If not, you can look forward to leaving for a future office environment with kinder and more collaborative colleagues. 

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Feeling the Years? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

We recently had an opening in my department for a director position. Had I applied for the job, the position would have been a big promotion for me. I didn't feel quite ready to apply for the job, though, and so I didn't (and I'm fine with that). However, one of my colleagues asked if I had applied for the job in front of a large group of people and it made me very uncomfortable. Is that information no longer considered private? I didn't feel the need for everyone to know if I was or wasn't applying for the job, and I hadn't discussed it with anyone in my department prior to this encounter. How do you respond to questions like this in a group setting when you are put on the spot?

Sincerely, 

Deer in Headlights

Dear Deer in Headlights,

‘Tis a fine line that we walk between personal and professional boundaries. Though some may argue that this is a professional question being asked in a professional setting, based on the fact that you’re even asking, I’m betting you’d beg to differ. Also, quite frankly, I’d say it's common courtesy to not ask questions like these in a public forum. But, it happened and may happen again, so what can you do in the future?

First, if you’ve been in this office long enough to consider applying for a promotion and a colleague felt comfortable enough to ask you this question, I’m figuring you have a pretty good sense of the different personalities in the room and how to work with them. This is great because this will help you prepare and be proactive as other complicated or potentially uncomfortable situations come up. If you know something is abuzz in the office, then prepare for that inevitable individual who doesn’t have boundaries and come up with a plan. It’s like being single in your 30s and going to a family event where you know everyone in the room is going to ask you if you’ve found someone. “When are you getting married? What happened to that one person you were talking to? Have you met so and so? I think you’d make a great pair!” Very frustrating. So what’s the game plan? Here are a few plays to keep in your back pocket:

• Be honest. Tell the person that you aren’t comfortable having this discussion and leave it at that. This may lead to some awkwardness initially but a) it’s the truth and b) it sets the boundary for future interactions and will hopefully reinforce for everyone in the room that there are certain things that you just aren’t comfortable discussing.

• Say you don’t know or give a brief non-answer and then refocus everyone on the subject at hand or another subject, whatever works best. 

• Deflect/change the subject: “Speaking of directors, you just reminded me….” 

• Have someone in the wings ready to save you. Someone who can call out the inappropriateness, change the subject, or deflect on your behalf. This, of course, implies that you have confided in someone in the workplace and that you are anticipating questions you don’t want to answer and may not be the most practical solution, but one that could be used if necessary.

The difficulty with situations like these is that it's hard to prepare for something you don’t know is coming. And most of us freeze when we’re caught off guard and don’t know how to react, hence the apt analogy of the deer in headlights. And that’s ok. It’s ok to take a minute to compose yourself and your thoughts and answer in a way that is comfortable for you. I think we’re so focused on needing to immediately respond that we forget that we don’t actually have to. In fact, if you give it a few seconds, someone else will usually chime in because people can’t handle the silence. But if that doesn’t work, you at least have a few options above that you can try.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have for Deer in Headlights? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I’ve officially decided that I need a new job. I’ve been in my position for over a decade now and need a change. I know I want to stay in my field but don’t know where to even begin to start the search. Help!

Sincerely, 

Job Hunter 101

Dear Job Hunter 101,

Making the decision to leave a position after a decade can be anxiety-provoking unto itself, let alone remembering/learning how to navigate the job market. But it sounds like you’re ready, and I’m here to help! 

First, it’s important to understand what you want out of your next position and what made you leave your current position. Was it the role itself? Was it a lack of growth? Was it the office environment? Are you looking to move up or make a lateral shift? What kind of role are you looking for? Are you willing to move? Make an inventory of what you are looking for (e.g. titles of positions, salary levels, remote or in-person positions, etc.) and what your non-negotiables are. This will help you as you begin to navigate the job market.

Once you have an idea of what it is you’re looking for, then, as much as we all hate to do it, you will need  to start updating that resume. Because we’ve established that you’re staying within the field, this shouldn’t be too difficult as it will most likely be just adding your latest position onto an existing resume. Now, if you’ve been off the market for over a decade, then you may want to consider looking at some resume examples or speaking to someone who is able to give you some advice on latest trends (e.g. addresses and objectives haven’t been a thing for a while, how do applicant tracking systems work?). One thing to always remember about resume writing is that EVERY single person you talk to will have something different to say but there are basic rules that resumes follow. As long as you have the basics down, and you understand what your industry expects, then you should be good. 

Along with your resume, LinkedIn is another big place to make changes. If you don’t already have a presence on LinkedIn, I HIGHLY recommend you change that. Build a strong profile, begin to post regularly, build your network by first adding the folks that you already know and then grow your network as you begin to meet more people. Similar to resumes, LinkedIn has a world of options for putting yourself strategically out there as a job seeker. There’s even an option to highlight your profile by adding a frame that indicates you’re looking for a job. This is a bit trickier to use as it depends on whether your current employer knows you’re looking or not, but an option nonetheless. Recruiters are actively looking on LinkedIn for potential talent so you want to make sure your profile header, the key words that you use to describe yourself, your about me, etc. align with what you’re looking for. There are lots of webinars and tips out there on how to use LinkedIn–take advantage of these tools.

Ok, so you’ve begun to build your resume and your LinkedIn, what now? How do you actually begin to look for a job? I know it's a cliche, but networking is key. A majority of jobs are found via your network rather than random online searches. Tell people what kind of job you're looking for. Join organizations in your field. Go to industry-specific events. Ask your network to connect you with other people they know in the field at other organizations. If you have a specific organization you want to work for, reach out to folks there and do informational interviews. Now, don’t go into these interviews asking for a job! Go in with the intent of learning about the person you’re talking to, their role, how they got there. The goal is to connect and plant the seed that way in the future you may come to mind if an opportunity arises or perhaps they know other folks that will be good for you to connect with. Connect. Connect. Connect. 

Beyond networking, yes, you should of course follow the more traditional path of creating alerts on LinkedIn, Google, and other platforms, to alert you to job openings. For these you’re going to want to know the variety of ways in which a role may be described. For example, a student advising role could be referred to as a student services advisor, a program coordinator, a program manager, etc. All of these may be the same exact job, but they may have different classifications and titles depending on the industry, organization, etc. Typing “advisor” into the job search engine is going to either limit your results or give you so many results that you won't know what to do. There’s a balancing game that you’ll need to play that may take some time and research.

Of course this is just the tip of the iceberg. I can go into lengths about each of these subjects, but I won’t as there are tons of tools out there on each of these subjects. The League specifically offers the Career Connections program which helps folks like you connect with other experienced members to talk through these exact pieces. Check out the program here. Hope this at least gives you a starting point.

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I have been struggling with my job for the last few years. I am generally overworked, exhausted, anxious, and frustrated due to poor leadership, high turnover, difficulty hiring, and systemic issues at my organization. I don’t enjoy my work like I used to, and the continuing pandemic also makes my job more difficult at every turn. Some days it’s hard for me to muster the energy and motivation to work, and I feel sick of it all. Other days, I feel fine and hopeful that things will improve. I feel like my identity is tied to this job. Most of all, I adore my colleagues and have built very strong rapport with them over the years. With all the turnover in our office, I would feel guilty quitting and making things worse for them. I think it’s time for me to leave, but I feel stuck. How can I finally make the leap?

Sincerely,

Need a Push

Dear Need a Push,

I suspect many readers can relate to this— thank you for submitting your question! The workplace, and without a doubt  the field of international education, has changed a lot in the last couple of years and everyone is feeling the pinch. While travel aspects are opening back up and some parts of our work are improving, many challenges remain, and plenty of new challenges are emerging. I commend you for hanging on this long! While it’s always true that things could improve and there are trade-offs to leaving a position you’ve settled into, it sounds like you know it’s time for you to move on. Let’s see if I can help get you unstuck!

The decision to leave a position can be complex and deeply emotional, especially if you share a strong bond with your colleagues. You may be worried that your next colleagues won’t be as great, or worried about cutting off part of your social network. The guilt you mentioned can be difficult to grapple with, knowing your departure might increase the workload for your colleagues who stay. Additionally, educators can be relationships-focused people and international educators can center their identity on or live their personal values through their professional work in the field. Consider the following to get more clarity and confidence in your decision:

Take a mindful approach to better understand your emotions. While you’re at work, zoom out and take a look at your feelings and frustrations without being wrapped up in them. Take a deep breath and allow yourself to identify your specific feelings. For example, you can think to yourself, “I am experiencing anger.” In the immediate, this will help you get some distance from negative emotions, but your next step is to note how long you’ve been feeling this way, and how disruptive your feelings are to your life. Is it some passing stress during a busy event, or is it a recurring and toxic emotion that you haven’t been able to reduce despite trying over a long period of time? Do you have these feelings even when you’re NOT at work? Once you take stock of the emotional toll of your job, you may recognize the true cost of staying. If the emotional cost to you is higher than the cost of your team having a temporarily higher workload, consider why you’re putting your colleagues ahead of your own well-being. It is hard for so many of us, but important to know that it’s OK to put yourself first! Plus, don’t underestimate your team! They will be fine without you, and may even have more space to shine when you’re not there to help.

You also mentioned your identity is tied up in your job. Take some time to outline your transferable skills, interests, and knowledge outside of your job. List some of the aspects of your work that energize you and then evaluate whether there are other civic or community opportunities that would allow you to continue to take part in this work outside of a professional role. Once you recognize your assets outside of your current role and identify other ways to fulfill your personal values, you will be better positioned to unwind your identity from your job.

There are always good reasons to stay, but there are also many wonderful opportunities out there for you that you won’t be able to experience if you’re stuck in your current position forever. Do some exploring and have conversations with folks who’ve made a professional pivot. Once you’ve found a few options for new employment, your focus can shift from fear of the unknown to excitement! When you’re excited about new possibilities, even without another job lined up, you will begin to see your way out. 

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.

Dear Sophia,

I work for an organization in which you only get promoted if you are buddies with the Dean or if the Dean knows you won't challenge him in any way. Everyone that has been promoted to a leadership position has the Dean's ear and does whatever the Dean wants. I've been in my role for many years now and know I can do a lot of great work if I had the opportunity to move up, but I don't see that happening as I don't get much facetime with the Dean. And also, I shouldn't have to! My work should speak for itself but I also recognize that people that are quite frankly incompetent have gotten higher positions in this organization just because they are BFF's with the Dean. A part of me thinks I should just leave but hate having to do that because of one man. Help!

(NOT) The Dean’s BFF

Dear (NOT) The Dean’s BFF,

This kind of “leadership” is super frustrating isn’t it?! Unfortunately, too many people in every type of organization have moved their way up the ranks despite possessing poor leadership qualities or even worse, a warped psychological make-up. Leaders who lack self awareness, are afraid of constructive dialogue or of being vulnerable, use their power to stack their team with “yes” people to protect their own ego and position of power. While employees who aren’t in the inner circle feel the most impact with limited opportunities for advancement, everyone in the organization experiences some ill effects of a workplace led by a toxic leader. Yes, it’s unfair and hopefully your current reality is one you’ll face only rarely. Working for an individual or organization who doesn’t see your worth will have a negative impact on your professional sense of self over time. Therefore, the status quo doesn’t seem like a viable option.

In a situation like yours, I see two primary options. You can prioritize making time to evaluate your skills, list the contributions you’ve made, and identify your professional goals as preparation to network outside of your unit while actively seeking a promotion or lateral change within your existing organization. Identify and take advantage of opportunities that afford you ways to build new relationships outside of your current role and help you learn new skills. Maybe that means volunteering, enrolling in a human resources training program, serving on an employee council, participating in an employee resource group (ERG), or seeking out a partnership or collaboration with a team that serves your current unit and your own goals. In any of these experiences, be ready to tell your story clearly to others. Prepare a pitch that expresses what you like about the organization, what you’ve contributed, and what you are seeking in the future. Be sure to consider every new engagement as an opportunity to learn about the organization and meet new people. In these interactions, focus on showing curiosity by asking questions, using active listening to convey your interest, and taking advantage of opportunities to talk about work you’ve done within your unit to convey capacity and deepen relationships. Most importantly, seek out sponsors who are likely to identify your value on their team and to the greater organization. Avoid  speaking ill of the Dean or trying to influence those who are oblivious or turning a blind eye to the poor leadership in your unit. It’s time to focus on you and your future. How you behave will influence how other leaders perceive you. Anticipate that this likely means changing your role considerably or moving outside of international education unless you work in a very large organization with a decentralized structure. 

The other option is to decide to reframe the way you’re thinking about the Dean and manage up in ways that play into how this person leads in order to move into their inner circle. Managing up with a person like this takes a serious amount of will, a massive desire to stay put knowing the road is long and likely full of obstacles, and possible investment in a career counselor, coach or mentor who can support you through the effort you're going to put in. 

Regardless of which path you choose, identify a reasonable timeframe, consider benchmarks to measure your progress, and keep good records that allow you to reflect on the work you’ve done and consider what you’ve gained. Change isn’t generally easy but it’s often worth it in the long run. 

Confidentially Yours,

Sophia

P.S. Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, I’m curious what the amazing community of educators reading this post has to say. Chime in, folks! What thoughts do you have? Share your thoughts on the Global Leadership League’s LinkedIn page. Have a question for Sophia yourself, ask here!

Please note: This response is provided for informational purposes only. The information contained herein is not legal advice and should not be used as a substitute for the legal advice or legal opinions of a licensed professional. Contact a personal attorney or licensed professional to obtain appropriate legal advice or professional counseling with respect to any particular issue or problem.